ADHD is often spoken about through symptoms and checklists. But behind every checklist is a story, a life, a human being.
This is exactly what this event wanted to highlight. What does ADHD actually feel like in everyday life? What is getting missed by the professionals? And how do we bridge this gap?
We invited six people to be our panelists – five were people with ADHD, and one was a psychologist with specialisation in neuropsychology (Dr. Porrselvi). From school memories and workplace struggles to medicines and navigating relationships, the panelists shared their experiences, and 30+ therapists from all over the country listened with openness.
These weren’t relatable experiences or examples you read in textbooks – these were lived moments.
Journey to a Diagnosis (And What Getting a Diagnosis Means)
It’s 2025 and ADHD is still frequently misdiagnosed in India, especially in women and high-performing individuals. Multiple panelists shared how their childhood and school life were marked with academic achievements, and it wasn’t until adulthood – until college – that they began to see the full extent of their struggles. A key point to be highlighted here is that ADHD has nothing to do with discipline or intelligence; rather, it’s about having a brain that functions differently from that of neurotypicals. This misunderstanding can lead to (and for many, actually has) to misdiagnoses. For some, a diagnosis only comes after years of feeling a ‘gap’ with their misdiagnosis, years of personal research, or maybe even accidentally stumbling across ADHD content that feels relatable. And when the true diagnosis does come, it brings a sense of validation, a sense of relief, and also, a silent grief for the years of misunderstanding. Dr. Porrselvi shared insights on how it is important to look beyond stereotypes – quick screenings are not enough because symptoms evolve and look different over a person's life.
Receiving a diagnosis is just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, it provides relief and validation, but it also leaves people with the question – “What now?”
A panelist shared their experience of being diagnosed later in life as an adult. Their post-diagnosis journey involved reflecting on the coping mechanisms they had already developed, and having to reevaluate what support should look like going forward.
Another panelist shared their experience of being diagnosed as a child. Having a family that supported their needs and how they functioned helped them thrive and stay true to who they are (of course, this does not mean that their journey wasn’t filled with hurdles).
The road after getting a diagnosis is filled with ongoing introspection, communication, learning who the person is without masking, and experimenting with strategies to find what works for them.
Lived Experience
This panel opened a window into what it actually means to live with ADHD. The conversations in this segment were centered around the challenges faced when it comes to emotions, interpersonal relationships, and workplaces that don’t understand neurodivergence.
Emotional challenges brought about discussions around masking, emotional overwhelm, and rejection sensitivity.
Masking is when someone puts on a socially acceptable version of themselves to meet neurotypical standards (almost as if they’re wearing a mask). Panelists brought in their experience of this – one shared how it felt like ‘being “ON” from the moment they woke up’, almost as if they were constantly performing. Not only does masking lead to emotional exhaustion, but it also creates a sense of disconnection from the person’s own needs. Many people might be masking without even realising it, leading them to question their diagnosis.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (or RSD, for short) came up as a major challenge. RSD can shape how one responds to criticism, feedback, and even neutral situations. Overthinking, spiralling thoughts, and intense emotions were commonly reported by the panelists.
Panelists shared how their struggles with time blindness, forgetfulness, and experiencing intense emotions often impacted their relationships. They found themselves being labelled as “inattentive” or “too much,” which brought in feelings of internal shame, being critical of self, and hesitancy to seek support. This, coupled with RSD, can create misunderstandings and affect a person’s sense of self.
One panelist shared their unique perspective of parenting a child with ADHD while also managing their own. They talked about how there’s deep empathy and understanding, but there’s also frustration, forgetfulness, and fatigue. Describing it as an “emotional rollercoaster”, they talked about how it was a journey of constant learning.
When talking about ADHD in adulthood, looping in work is important. One of the panelists shared how their challenges with executive function, difficulty with attention, and overthinking made asking for help difficult because now they feared they may be seen as incompetent.
A recurring theme was building systems and not working against oneself. Beyond a diagnosis, ADHD is about navigating what truly supports the person. It’s about building systems that are flexible and personalised; systems that work with our pace and limitations. It’s important to note that these systems (– therapy, medication, relationships, pets, body doubling, routines, alarms, etc.) can look different for different people.
At the heart of the event was the frustration with mental health professionals for not acknowledging, invalidating, or dismissing the struggles of the panelists (and even leading to incorrect diagnoses on the extreme end). The lack of understanding and psychoeducation from their therapists left the panelists feeling unsupported and misunderstood.
Dr Porrselvi highlighted the collaborative nature of the therapist-client relationship and how both clients and therapists need to work together to build strategies that work for the client. Clients benefit when the therapist sits with them in the moments they feel like they’re “drowning”, offers psychoeducation to help build their foundation, acknowledges that the client’s diagnosis exists and the impact it has on them, and understands how they process information and emotions. The therapist has to go beyond ‘tips and tricks to manage ADHD’ into a deeper understanding of the client’s self.
Decision to Medicate
The decision to try medication is a tug-of-war, often riddled with fear, stigma, misinformation, and hope. One of the panelists shared his journey on how he was hesitant to try medication because of his personal history, but his view changed after a psychiatrist offered a different perspective – we take medicines for the stomach, lungs, and kidneys, when required, and just like these organs, our brain is an organ too. He also shared a beautiful metaphor about how he wears glasses because it helps him see clearly and function better, and there is no shame in that.
Medication for ADHD needs to be approached with mindfulness and care. Dr. Porrselvi pointed out that around 50-80% of people discontinue their ADHD medication within a year, often due to side effects and/or unmet expectations. Medication can be a turning point, but it is not a complete solution. Yes, it can provide clarity and take away the ‘fog’, but it works best with the systems we discussed above.
Ultimately, the decision to medicate should be informed, collaborative, and should come with an understanding that medication is not a magical solution.
This event was a reminder (a much-needed one!) that there is no perfect way to live with ADHD, because ADHD doesn’t come with a rulebook. The event held space for endless conversations, and one of the most important ones was that ADHD is not about a lack of anything, but simply about being different. And different doesn’t mean bad.
