If you have ADHD, you’ve probably been told some version of:
"Just be more organized."
"Use a planner."
"Make a to-do list."
And maybe you’ve tried to do all of that, but it usually ends up in a situation where your planner sits untouched after a week. An app with 20 pending tasks. Sticky notes that keep piling up and you start to wonder, Is something wrong with me? Why is this not working for me when it is supposed to be?
Let’s pause right there.
The truth is: most traditional productivity systems weren’t built with ADHD brains in mind. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you need systems that are flexible, forgiving, and actually work for you.
Why Build Your Own System?
Because ADHD Is Not a Motivation Problem, It’s a Regulation Problem
In her TED talk, psychologist Dr. Jessica McCabe (“Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story”) describes the heartbreak of trying to be “normal” when your brain is wired differently. She says “We don’t lack discipline, intelligence, or motivation, We lack consistency.”
Adults with ADHD often struggle with executive functions the mental skills responsible for time management, working memory, task initiation, and emotional regulation. So when typical productivity tools rely on those exact functions, it’s no surprise they fail us.
Building your own system isn’t just a productivity choice, it’s a form of neurodivergent self-respect. It’s saying: “I deserve tools that work with my brain, not against it.”
A recurring theme in one of our soulup’s event last month was also on building systems and not working against oneself. Beyond a diagnosis, ADHD is about navigating what truly supports the person. It’s about building systems that are flexible and personalised; systems that work with our pace and limitations. It’s important to note that these systems ( be it therapy, medication, relationships, pets, body doubling, routines, alarms, etc.) can look different for different people.
Because Trial and Error Is Not Failure, it’s evidence of you trying
Many adults with ADHD carry a long history of being misunderstood, shamed, or punished for things they couldn’t control, like being late, zoning out, or forgetting tasks. These early experiences can turn into internalized narratives like : I’m lazy. I’m unreliable. I can’t stick to anything,
So when a new tool or system “fails,” we often blame ourselves instead of the system or we tend to think of ourselves as someone who needs a “crutch” while “others (typically neurotypical people) don’t need one, it often spirals into being shamed and feeling shamed.
But the truth is: every failed system teaches you something. Maybe digital calendars don’t work unless you pair them with phone alarms. Maybe you need a whiteboard above your desk and a sticky note on the fridge. Maybe your brain doesn’t do well with rigid routines, but thrives with flexible anchors like “write after breakfast.”
Building your own system means allowing space for experimentation without shame. In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” But he also reminds us that systems evolve. They’re living, breathing things, just like you.
Because the Cost of Forcing Yourself Into the Wrong System Is Burnout
When you try to keep up with neurotypical systems, you often end up doing more managing of yourself than of your tasks. You mask your challenges, push through when you’re dysregulated, and shame yourself when the to-do list remains untouched.
This constant effort to “hold it together” is exhausting.
Building your own ADHD-friendly systems is an act of burnout prevention. You stop over-relying on willpower and start using external scaffolding: timers, accountability partners, visual cues, body doubling, and self-compassion rituals.
You stop trying to “fix” yourself and instead focus on supporting yourself.
What Does an ADHD-Friendly System Actually Look Like?
There’s no one-size-fits-all. But most sustainable ADHD systems have a few things in common:
-
They’re visible (because out of sight = out of mind)
-
They’re flexible (because no two days feel the same)
-
They’re forgiving (because perfectionism kills consistency)
-
They’re simple to restart (because ADHD brains fall off and get back on again… a lot)
For example, instead of a complex productivity app, your system might look like:
-
A small whiteboard with three daily tasks
-
A “launch pad” area near the door for your keys, wallet, and bag
-
Alarms set for transitions (like “start winding down” or “leave for work”)
-
A weekly body-doubling session with a friend on Zoom
The more your system reduces friction and decision fatigue, the better it works.
