Meet-up: What I wish my therapist knew about my ADHD

1. Being the “distracted” kid, the “too much” teen, or the “lazy” adult.
2. Misunderstood for years; labelled instead of supported.
3. Identity confusion and low self-esteem from growing up undiagnosed.
4. The grief of the “lost years” — friendships, academics, and self-worth affected before the dots connected.
5. Relief meets regret: “If only I knew sooner…”

1. A rollercoaster of emotions: relief, validation, anger, grief.
2. The diagnostic maze – stigma, misdiagnosis, costs, and clueless professionals.
3. “You don’t look ADHD” – battling myths and gender bias.
4. Fear of being dismissed even after getting the diagnosis.
5. Diagnosis as both a mirror and a map – explaining the past, guiding the future.

1. “I’m not resistant. I’m overwhelmed.”
> Clients may mask in sessions — trying hard to “perform healing” or appear organised
> Homework may feel impossible, even when it’s helpful
> Unstructured or open-ended sessions may lead to shutdown or spirals
> Missed sessions, inconsistent journaling, or forgetting goals isn’t always “avoidance”
> Sessions post-work or school can be impacted by decision fatigue or sensory overload

2. The Therapy Relationship is Different Too
> “I want to connect but I’m tired of feeling like I’m failing therapy.”
> Clients may feel shame for not being the "ideal client"
> ADHD traits like emotional intensity, rejection sensitivity, or interrupting can be misread as resistance or boundary issues
> Clients may hyper-fixate on the therapist's tone, words, or expressions

3. ADHD Doesn’t Come Alone
> Critical life events (grief, trauma, transitions) often intersect with ADHD-related overwhelm
> Co-occurring diagnoses: anxiety, depression, BPD traits, disordered eating, or C-PTSD
> Emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction can amplify other symptoms or delay recovery

4. The Professional Pressure
> Burnout in 9-5s built for neurotypicals
> Missed deadlines ≠ Lack of care
> Constant overcompensating

5. The Relationship Toll
> Rejection sensitivity, conflict, misunderstood intentions
> Masking, people-pleasing, and internalised guilt

6. Strategies That Actually Work (And Why We Need You to Know Them)
> Think dopamine, not just discipline
> Body doubling, timers, whiteboards, alarms, co-regulation, and compassionate structure
> Emotional support > Problem-solving
> Visual tools, goal simplification, gentle accountability

1. “Will it change who I am?” – fears around dependency and identity
2. Navigating stigma from family, peers, even therapists
3. The double-edged sword of clarity: “This is what focus feels like?”
4. Relief and regret: imagining what life could have been with earlier treatment
5. The therapist’s role: informed, collaborative, non-coercive
6. How to talk meds: balancing psychoeducation, side effects, and agency